"Overcast"

Dear Diary,

So much has happened, and I don't know where to start.

Modello is gone, without even saying why, much less goodbye. Aunti Raewi too seems to have slipped out in the middle of the night, without goodbyes. Aunti Jo got married to a pretty lady with the prettiest red hair I ever saw, whose name is Lucy, and now they are also gone on a boat or something.

Apparently I have a cousin, and supposedly he's living here, but I guess I keep missing him or something, or he sleeps a lot. Mommy said he'll be away til after Christmas too.

Mommy has a new boyfriend, and his name is Cory. He makes me nervous, and Mommy doesn't seem happy. That makes me more nervous. Cory's also going to be away til after Christmas.

The other day, Mommy told me she was going to have another baby. I know i'm supposed to be happy, but I started crying when she told me. I asked her if she was gonna send me away again like she did when she was pregnant with Tatie. Then she started crying, and then we were both crying. She said she wouldn't send me away again.

I don't know why her saying that, isn't enough for me.

Cory replaced Mr. Dog.. with another, less friendly dog. He looked a lot like Mr. Dog, but he was a lot less friendly, and a lot crazier. When Aunti Lucy came over the first time to meet us, he wouldn't stop growling and barking at her. Eventually I had to drag him to the garage.. but then he got off the leash and ran into the snow in the backyard. Then later that night, once we had him back in the garage, he got out again while everyone was sleeping. We haven't seen him since.

The only people I've really seen lately are Mommy and Tatie, and while he's grown a lot, Tatie's idea of conversation is something like "ba ba ba ba ba ba scream ba ba ba". I've also had lots of make-up work to do over the Christmas holiday.

Mommy seems to be sad, and actually I'm sad too. I'd just like to spend time cuddling with her and playing, but like yesterday for example, all she wanted to do was decorate the yard. Mommy let me light the candle for Solstice.. but her mind seemed so focussed on the lights in the trees and how our yard looked compared to the neighbors.

Everyone is on the go, and everything is going so fast and so loud. I wish mommy was here now.

I seem to be one of those afflicted by seasonal affective disorder, or by 'just depressing' thoughts relating to lack of money, lonliness, lost family members and friendships, dark thoughts that seem to recur around this time of year. It's hard for me to maintain the fiction of Christmas Cheer in RL, and in SL it seems I've positively failed at it as well.